Archive for neighbour

How Bollywood Is Screwing With My Brain

Posted in Weird Tales with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2011 by mmeeviloverlord

I had the weirdest dream last night.

Now, generally, I do have weird dreams. Dreams in which i'm falling from mountains/waterfalls, getting lost in jungles/mazes/compendium of buildings, dreams within dreams a la Inception. But yesterday I had a truly freaky dream.

No, sorry, nightmare.

The setting was very realistic. It was my house. I was sitting on my bed and reading. For some reason there was a tailor on the rear balcony, stitching away to glory. I got up and went to the front door and heard footsteps. I looked through the peephole and saw two huge, hairy guys – one of whom looked suspiciously like Himesh Reshammiya. The Himesh doppelganger decided to peek through the peephole. I screamed nightmare! in my head and ran back to my room. After five minutes I came out and saw those two hairy apes in my living room!

Hain??

I told them to leave. They ignored me. It freaked me out like crazy. Yes, having huge hairy strangers in your living room, who got in without making absoutely any noise at all, is freaky. I ran to our neighbour's house for help. Mr. Neighbour (same name, different person, I think from some reject villain hell) said he'd help me out, but first I had to touch everyone's feet – you know, the one that's supposed to humiliate rather than show respect – and I had to start with the youngest kid, who looked about 3 years old and totally unlike his real grandkid, and move on to a few hundred chacha-chachis, taya-taijis, the like. Okay, about 20.

At this point, even my dream self said what the bladdy faaack?!! I tried lifting my middle finger, but since I was still dreaming and had to follow a script (presumably), I touched everyone's feet, true Alok Nath ishtyle, browbeaten and humiliated. I went downstairs and found that both the goons had disappeared. Then Mr. and Mrs. Neighbour came down to assert themselves. By this point even my dream self was sick of the whole effin thing and banged the door in their faces.

At which point I mercifully woke up.

The. End.

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